By Tracy Kiely
Ahhh…the eternal question (right after who invented liquid soap and why). Minds greater than mine have tackled this theme throughout the years in poetry, prose, and verse. (Wait, is poetry the same as verse? It is, isn’t it? Never mind, you get the idea.)
The best I could come up with was big boobs and a fast car, depending on your perspective, of course. This, of course, is based after years of research (i.e. high school).
It also makes for a very short (though largely accurate) post.
So, instead, in keeping with the spirit of high school, I am giving a pop quiz!
My question to YOU, my dear students, is how well you know some of the greatest foolish loves of literature. (I’ve decided to skip the whole poetry/verse genre for obvious reasons.) So, see if you can match up the lovers below with their silly reasons for choosing their mates. All participants will receive my free short story, Battle of the Bonnets, in which Austen and Brontë fans duke it out over whose heroes are better (go to tracykielymysteries.com and sign up for the newsletter). The first participant to correctly pair each couple with their ill-fated reasons to hook up, will receive an advance copy of
Verse For Idiots my latest book Murder Most Persuasive. Good luck!
A. Dolores Haze/Humbert Humbert
B. Marianne Dashwood/John Willouhby
C. Charlotte Lucas/Mr. Collins
D. Cathy Earnshaw/Heathcliff
E. Madame Bovary/Léon Dupuis
F. Scarlett O’Hara/Charles Hamilton
G. Bridget Jones/Daniel Cleaver
H. Rebecca/Maxim de Winter
2. Cool, psychotic behavior
3. Sweet nature and large forehead
4. Good looks and posh accent
5. Making your true love jealous
6. Beauty, Brains, Breeding (3B’s)
7. A love of nymphets
8. Personification of perfect woman
9. Good looks and views on poetry